waiting for the right time to come

It's time for me to grow up... more independent...

2010-06-11T01:23:00.002+08:00

was talking to him just now... we have decided to grow up by ourselves... not to rely on each other... just... i think... this is consider as love?
love doesnt mean the couple must always to be tgth den that's called love.. nope...
i disagree with that... sometimes... love have to let go of your love ones... love have to sacrifices something for your love ones too... but this "love" feeling... is a great experience... when you get to meet a guy you really put all your heart into the relationship...
so right now... we just live our own way... no one will disturb each other... just... learn how to be a grown up human.. ^^ im going to be 20 soon... have to grow up ler...
i have to thanks to my bro for saying that sentence... after i heard that sentence from him... i stopped crying... and reflected with wad i was doing... :') and i know.. i have to study for my common test and not to cry like a crazy gal... yea :') thanks kor ^^ glad to have you as my brother :')
JESSICA!!! and The first guy who showed me what love is... GANBATTE!!!! :'3

the promises we had...

2010-06-09T09:10:00.002+08:00

I rmb you said that im yours.. and i have agreed that... i hope... this promise will still carry on...

Im alone now... I can't share anythings with him anymore...

2010-06-09T08:37:00.004+08:00

Hahahaa... I rmb.. the last patch we had... i told myself.. not to put 100% of my heart for you... and now... we broke up... I should be happy... but I cried...
I think he's also feeling sad... but he just dun want to let anyone know... he had made the choice and i know it's hard to stick with his choice... cuz in his heart.. he still loves me... we do love each other even till now... but... no use anymore... we wont be together anymore...
I rmb that we have agreed to watch many upcoming movies tgth...
during our holiday, he will accompany me to my childhood's place and memories..
During our long term break, we will go to Sentosa tgth...
During our 3rd anniversary, we will go and watch movie in gold class...
but now...
everything has gone... no more... he cant be the one who accompany me through my life anymore... i just love him so much.. miss him so much that when he cant meet me, i will be very pissed off... bcuz i cant see him... just hope that he will know why im so pissed...
now.. i miss his smile... his joke... his cute ^^V... his smell... his care... his misses... his hand... his hug... his kiss and his love... everything has disappeared just ytd...
Baby... If you are reading this post, i just want to tell you that... it's alright to fine a girl who is better than me... cuz im the girl who just give you stress but nth more... im sorry that i didnt do my part well... i love you baby...

Fad up with my life...

2010-02-10T23:28:00.002+08:00

i dunoe wad happened to me... i just lose control of my emotions... i was supposed to be a cheerful gal... but... now... im not... just putting a fake smile on my face... i cant even understand myself already.. just hope... someone will pull me out of this emotion world... im really losing control... feeling.. depressed...

had fun during my bro's wedding ^^

2009-12-22T10:45:00.003+08:00

i love this photo ^^ i took with my brother when i was half drunk... it's so long that we finally get to take this fun photo ^^ i will not lose this photo and other the rest of my photos that i took during my bro's wedding night ^^ hope my brother and my sao sao will last ^^ they have been tgth since they were sec 2 or 3... ^^ now.. they are 28 years old ^^ and they finally got married ^^ happy for them ^^ i was with them when i was a young kid.. about k2?? i think so ^^ i remembered.. when i was in my kinder garden school... i was waiting for someone to bring me back home... that time... it was raining heavily... and i saw my brother and sao sao.. came over and brought me home... my brother piggy back me ^^ and i think my sao sao helped me to carry my stuff.. ^^

so.. in conclusion... their love is really strong ^^ not everyone will last that long when they got tgth since secondary sch ^^ yup ^^

dont know why...

2009-12-15T15:39:00.002+08:00

why... why will i feel the jealousy when he's with her... he told me he doesnt like her... however, the closeness between both of them.. it's like really irritating... i wish that i can just forget this feeling... i dun even want to feel anything... i rather be numb... cant feel anything for my life... and the next thing is that... hmmm... i cant say... but.. im just irritated with alot of thing... alot... just hope my common test end... and i can go out with my friends.. that will let me enjoy my life... and forget him... and everything... just hate it... when he's close to her... what if he saw im with a guy so close... i bet he will feel that way too...

hmmm... let's ignore the bad stuff... im going out soon ^^ with my FRIENDS!!! ^^ ohya... and going to meet a guy too ^^ met him in my school when i was sec 1... he stays near jurong point too ^^ den when anyone of us feels bored... we can just meet each other... meeting him for dinner and a movie ^^ just friends ^^ yupp... everyone wants me to enjoy my life.. stop thinking about him... sad about things... yea.. i know ^^ that's why im going out soon ^^ when i have done with my test ^^hmm... everyone is happy when i told them im going out with guys... hahahhaa.... yea.. i know the reason ^^ ENJOY MY LIFE!!! ^^

just saw this love quote

2009-12-12T21:37:00.002+08:00

"If you love someone, let them go. If they return to you, it was meant to be. If they don't, their love was never yours to begin with..." - unknown..
hmmm... love someone.. let them go... ok.. today... it still consider i love him.. so yea ^^ iwill let him go... but tml.. it wont be love anymore ^^ and of course not hate ^^ but just no more love already ^^ but of course i will let him go... he had said to me just now... his love is fading... (it's my negative cause it.. dun blame him ^^) so... i dun think... his love is mine in the beginning... hmmmm... he will return to me??? i dun think so... hahahhaha... i cant make him smile... so... of cuz he wont be back... and there will be lots of gals who can make him smile... or even laugh... hahhahahaha... i have been seeing lots of gals who can make him smile and laugh... so... yea ^^ im not the one ^^
^^V

the end of the chapter

2009-12-12T21:19:00.004+08:00

everything has ended... even my love to him... has ended... no more... after today... everything will change... entirely... even my love to him... will change ^^ i will not love him anymore.. not even a little.. my heart to him.. will be dead... i will follow wad my best friend said... totally.. forget him... totally... i can do that.. ^^ i can ^^ cuz he told me "it's the end of the chapter of our love..." so.. after analyzing this sentence... it's just making me to stop loving him and tell myself.. we cant be tgth anymore.. and i wont be crying for this anymore... therefore... this sentence to me... is no longer available...
"if we are meant to be tgth, we will be tgth" no more... this sentence will not be in my head anymore.. i will start a new chapter with the other guy... the guy will love me for who i am... who will not fade his love... i wont too ^^ cuz wad i want is to have a happy ending with my love one ^^

he wont be in my heart.. anymore.. ^^V

im really sorry

2009-12-12T20:17:00.002+08:00

im really sorry... whenever i saw him or called him... it seems like.. he was fine... not affected by this relationship... he was still as cheerful as he always been... however... i was just assuming... i nvr think of asking him "are you alright", "do you feel sad"... but... if i ask him all these... will he tell me the truth?? will he answer me "im hurt... im sad.." who will tell you how they feel... honestly..
maybe.. he still loves me... but... im just afraid... i will not be anyone but just a friend to him... i just really hope... everything will be fine... i just really love him... i have never love someone so deeply before... tryin gto get out... but i cant... there are a lot of his memories around me... a lot... im sure he will feel this way too... when he walked around his house, his room... there will be some places carried our memories... the cuddles... kisses... laughters... fighting(as in for the fun)... how we enjoyed the movies... alot... it's like... there are lots of things happened... during this 1 year 11months... 5 more days... will be our 2nd anniversary... i dun think we are able to celebrate... cuz we arent longer tgth anymore... just hope.. we can celebrate...
i hope... the god can feel how i feel... the love.. and give us a chance to build this relationship again... i dun want ot lose this relationship anymore... it's painful for us... i shall learn how to give in... and not to be negative... i just need time... need time to get rid of my negative emotions... please god... please... give me one last chance to build this relationship... it means alot to me.. alot...
after all these break ups... i really learn lots of things... i must think the other party's feeling.. i cant be so selfish... however, i hope he will know what his problem too... but wad i know is that.. i have lots of problem... more than him.. cuz yea.. im too negative right now... but wad i need is his company... hope one day... my wish will come true...

wonder...

2009-12-12T19:39:00.005+08:00

hmm... i was wondering... if... im not negative anymore... not emo anymore... and being myself... will he come back??? will we continue our chapter or start a new chapter of our relationship... it's like... only he can let me feel wat's love... he can make me imagine our future... although we are not grown up yet... but.. i dunoe why... i can feel that... we are meant to be... i know many ppl will think this is stupid... but... i just dunoe why... im sure that he will be the one... my soulmate... however... i dunoe whether he will feel that way or not... hope he will... but if he dont... i wont blame him though... ^^ cuz i really love him... i will wait.. wait till both of us can accept each other...... so... wait and see ^^

im going to change ^^

2009-12-12T14:21:00.002+08:00

hmmm... i hope one day... my blog wont be so emo liao ^^ JESSICA WILL BE BACK!!! SOME DAY!!! ^^ heehee

ohya!!! cant wait for 27 dec!!! going to have exchange gift with the alumni(s) XD hahhahaha!!! but i will be swimming ^^ CUZ!!!!!!!!! IT'S MY HOLIDAY!!! I HAVE NOT BEEN SWIMMING FOR LONG TIME!!! OMGOMGOMG!!! I WANT TO SWIM!!! CANT WAIT FOR THAT DAY MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XD MUAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA XD

hope i will have a happy ending too ^^

2009-12-12T01:05:00.002+08:00

wah... today i watched the movie "the princess and the frog"... which made me hope i will be a happy ending ^^ hmmm... quite difficult huh??? no one wants me liao... sad... hahaha... BUT!!! i have my friends!!!! love them lots...
hmmm.. seriously...
now... i cant feel... any love already... heart has broken into lots of pieces... just hope... someone will come and mend my broken heart...

haii... currently... feel lots of pressure... studies and my failed relationship... just hope he will love me and be there for me... but... it seems like... he is having more fun with friends than being with me... hahahaha... may i know that am i so failed to be a girlfriend??? thought that this will be my last relationship and will last long.. however... im wrong... i really dunoe... will anyone want this failed girl... who cant give the best to her boyfriend... sian...

common test coming soon... OMGOMGOMG

2009-12-09T00:15:00.002+08:00

hmmm... i really hope that i will score well this time... i didnt really slack a lot like the last sem... so... just pray... with my hard work too... i will score well this time ^^ so long nvr post anything in my bloggy... hahahaha... there are some reason thought... i cant really post how i feel over here.. ^^ but... now... im alright ^^ just too much pressure ^^ signing off :D

i hate myself

2009-12-04T23:18:00.002+08:00

trying to stop thinking im suck... and everything... but... whenever i talked about you, gave you a nick name... or a comment... i will say something wrong... hahha... it's like... telling me.. i suck... i cant think... i always say something bad... i hate it.. I HATE ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK MY LIFE!!! JUST TAKE AWAY MY LIFE... I DONT GIVE A FUCKING DAMN!!!

happy birthday, my love

2009-11-26T09:36:00.002+08:00

yea.. today is his birthday... he had his fun ytd :) good for him :) looking at his photos and video which makes me feel... like.. im a failure... i cant celebrate his birthday... i cant fulfill my wish... this really makes me very sad... my effort... has gone to a trash... i just still love him... hope he still love me too... yea... i love you baby...

time..

2009-11-26T09:30:00.003+08:00

just hope... after sometime... when we are more mature... we can be tgth again... i just cant imagine to be with other guys... cuz seriously.. im afraid of guys... im afraid that they will use me for other stuff but not loving me wholeheartedly... he is the only guy that makes me feel love... he is the first guy who let me feel happy... of course there will be sad stuff... but... aiya... just go on with my life.. just hope when he got into jc.. he wont give his heart away to other gals... yea... あいしてる...

:')

2009-10-29T00:10:00.001+08:00

happy you are there for me :')

im feeling sick.. nowadays...

2009-10-28T22:37:00.004+08:00

im getting weaker and weaker nowadays.... i will get dizzy easily.... different from the past... worst than the past... i just have the need to post this in my blog... just feel very tired these few days... trying to cheer myself up, mixing around with friends, trying to stuff myself with works... but it just cant help... i dunoe wat the fuck im having right now... im just feel like... taking a break... feeling that im hopeless... cant do anything better... i seriously hope that... there is something or someone who can help me... helping me to walk out of the "world" that i have been living over there together recently... now.. this tiredness... has stopped me from studying... only japanese can motivate me to study... now... if there isnt anything that can help me... i just need time to stop.... which is impossible... i cant really post all how i feel at this blog already... yea... tiredness has occupied me... by alot... i just feel im a failure though... cant let someone ,that is so special to me, to feel my heart... my love.. nah... suan ler.. :) just that.. i cant really show ppl how i feel actually... always hide everything within myself.. yea.. that's me.. probably... i dunoe...

just feel many things are different right now... :(

2009-10-24T00:16:00.003+08:00

now is the new semester.... feel alot of thing has became different... maybe i think too much... but... i just cant stop thinking about it...
im happy my lifestyle has changed... go back home... rest... den revise wat's i have studied during the lecture for that day... but... i still feel the fear... i scared that i will fail smt again... :'( when i pay attention during my lecture... i feel fear too... i felt that the module is difficult for me :( i really hope i can pass this semester.. but just not only pass.. i want to score well :( where is my motivation??? i hope it will appear soon :'(
currently, my bf is busy with his olvl... i feel lonely... but i know that i should endure and wait for him... his olvl will end soon... next week will be his olvl week... haii... i should stop emoing now.. :D

HYPER NOW :D
I WANT TO BUY ONE JACKET!!! IT'S FROM FOX!!!! :D DAMN NICE :D I WANT TO BUYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY XD
currently saving money :D treating him during his birthday :D and our 2nd year of anniversary.. :D last year he treated me :D now it's my turn :D heehee :D and.. and...
year 3 in japanese class can go japan woh :D LOOKING FORWARD :D HEEHEE :D

ohya... something angry to type over here :(
MY AIR-CON IS NOT REPAIRED YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FOR SO LONG!!! MY PARENTS STILL NEVER CONTACT THE SERVICE :( DRAG AND DRAG AND DRAG... CURRENTLY, IM PERSPIRING IN MY "SAUNA" ROOM!!!haii...just envy those ppl who have a working air-con :( i always need to tie up my hair orelse i will perspire more -.- sian... haii....

i knew it man~

2009-09-23T17:13:00.002+08:00

haha... i failed my macro.. wat i said is right :) cuz i know myself :) however, i wont cry like nuts.. but i will stay strong and change my lifestyle in poly.. i wont slack anymore.. my first priority is studies.. cuz i cant slack anymore if i want to get into uni... although now my GPA suckz like hell... but i will try my best to push it up.. this semester no cca for me... no more dancing.. i feel that studies is more important than dance.. so.. goodbye NRA :(
if this coming semester i score well :) i will join archery :D cuz i have known some of them :) and i really want to have a sport cca :) all these years.. i have been dancing.. skipping.. but nth sports...
haii.. now i must take micro and macro tght.. JIAYOU!!!! :D

fun with shopping!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-08-29T21:01:00.002+08:00

HEEHEE!!! I BOUGHT THREE TANG TOP FROM FOREVER 21 AND ONE LONG SLEEVE TOP FROM ZERA~!!!!!!!!!!!! XD FINALLY I CAN GO AND SHOP LIKE SO HAPPY WOH~!!!! but ho... legs super suan... damn tired... now staying at my sis's house... nvr bring my laptop~ i want to cry.. i miss my laptop!!!! *sob* AND MY PRECIOUS BEAR~~~!!!!!!!!!!! MUMMY MISS YOU ALOT~!!!! XD MUACKZ!!!! ohya.. i dun feel like going camp... and i cant go too.. charz birthday is on the same day as my camp... both crushed.. i will choose to celebrate my best friend's birthday :D CHAR~ HAPPY AND MOVED BY ME RIGHT XD HEEHEE XD i WANT MY LAPTOP~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOLIDAY~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-08-28T19:16:00.000+08:00

FINALLY!!! EVERYONE HAS BEEN WAITING FOR THIS.. HOLIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW I DUN GIVE A DAMN WITH MY RESULT!! I JUST CARE ABOUT HAVING FUN AND SLEEP!!!!!!! IM GOING TO MUG FUN AND SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I MUST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLIDAY ROCKZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MUACKZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XD

disappointed..

2009-08-27T23:19:00.004+08:00

why am i always in the fault? you are the one who wanted to break up with me and wanted me to have my life.. said that im free.. and another thing is that when im trying to show you that im still concern about you, you kept on ignoring my msges or you dun come to online when you said you will.. when you did all these to me... i feel disappointed and sad.. i know that you need time to be single, to find what's love.. but i just dunoe how to describe my current feelings about what you did to me.. but i know now im tired like what you feel now.. you want me to have my own life.. im doing right now... im doing what you want me to do right now.. i told you already.. dun regret what you said.. what you want me to do... cuz i will do it.. now.. i think im feeling numb right now.. tired covered my feeling.. the feeling of love.. this will be the last time im telling you this b4 it really disappear from me.. i love you, shawn..

my macroeconomics..

2009-08-27T15:48:00.002+08:00

after looking through my test paper, i knew that i will flunk my test.. the reason is that i dun even understand what they want.. and my brain suddenly just go *click* BLANK!!! -.- im sure that i will retake this module -.- sian.. macro and micro tght.. i will die.. im like thinking shall i change my course -.- is this really suitable for me??? or have i chosen the wrong course??? -.-

I WANT TO KILL THE EXAM!! ANTI-EXAM!!!

2009-08-27T00:15:00.002+08:00

wah~ im tired woh~ exam period really kills me -.- sian lah.. now i should sleep liao.. but i must finish reading the transcript from PM.. for my maec.. tired sial... -.- luckily tml the exam time is from 2-4pm.. after the maec exam, i will rush back to my sis's house and mug my sleep :D sleep till 9pm, bath, eat den study for infa :D at 10pm :D i will watch my favourite show :D heehee :D ming zhong zhu ding wo ai ni :D nice show :D today i did something wrong.. i nvr remind ben that the show has started :X cuz when i left my laptop, i didnt read his last sentence "when the show start liao, tell me" heehee :X now he go and sleep liao.. hahaha!! always call me pig.. i dun think im pig lor xP cuz he always sleep earlier than me xP heehee XD i bet he is going to kill me after he read this.. hahaha!!! k la.. i go back and finish up my transcript :) bye~!! :D

this post is for benjamin, CopyCat

2009-08-25T15:35:00.002+08:00

You have been tricked by Jessica Kek Ling Li :D she left early during the test :D she left at 10.30am :D how can she overslept le?? STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XP

regrets..

2009-08-25T01:04:00.003+08:00

i hate this year alot!!! i did alot of things that i feel regret.. i hate it.. i HATE IT!!!! i have thrown something meant alot to us.. the hardwork i did for him.. the thoughts i gave to him.. all meant alot to us.. but what i know is that if it has already done, let it be.. you will have better things... ya.. i think so too.. but i must let time heal me.. again... tired.. im really tired.. i just realised that i can even lose to those memories we had.. haha... am i that not impt?
haha.. Copy Cat.. happy liao ho xP i emo liao.. haha (no mood to put pic)

Dear Bloggy. :D

2009-08-24T19:38:00.002+08:00

:D i have somethings to tell you :D firstly, i have finally get rid of my emo side in relationship.. i have finally let it go :D no guys can affect me already :) i realised that after this heartbreaking, i have changed :) changed into a stronger girl :D whatever he treated me.. on and off.. both wont affect me anymore.. i wont feel sad when he treated me like that.. :D dewika must be veri happy about this :D but Copy Cat (Pig Roar) will be unhappy about this :D cuz he loves to see me emo.. hahaha xP I WIN!!! :D girl doesnt need guys to stay alive or live :) we, as a strong girl, can do whatever we want by ourselves :D we dont really need guys to be by our side :Dheehee xP no offence xP heehee :D
SECONDLY!!!! my 3rd sis's friend after looking at my sis's album, she thought that im 7 years old -.- WHAT THE **** hahahahhaha XD i thought Primary 1 to 5 and i look like one of them.. -.- shit man... hahahahhaha XD i cant do anything sial.. i look young.. :D hahahhaha :D cant look old :D i have never changed my look at all.. :D i look the same when i was young.. nothing change.. accept HEIGHT!! :D DUH~!! you shhh~!!! i know what you want to say, stupid Copy Cat!!! xP HURUSAI :D BAKA!!! XP
LASTLY, I HAVE NOT DONE WITH MY BLAW!!! BYE~!!! :D

haii..

2009-08-23T20:53:00.003+08:00

sian... always fall sick if not, diarrhea.. today i just had one diarrhea again.. -.- sian lor!!! :D hahahhaha :D today, my eldest sis's third baby is so cute!!! :D before taking video of him, he kept on screaming and laughing at the balloon in front of him.. den when he saw i was taking video of him.. he suddenly stop everything and just stare at my phone :D look at the video please :D must watch everything :D cuz smt happened at the end of the video :D

falling sick :'(

2009-08-23T04:29:00.003+08:00

boo hoo~.. :'( falling sick ler :'( my headache is getting worst :'( boo hoo~... now im freaking stress... boo hoo~.. i have studied the wrong chapter for blaw.. boo hoo~.. and i have put alot of my effort at the wrong chapter that i have studied wrongly.. boo hoo~... emo~ OPPS!!! cant emo.. heehee... later someone will shoot me.. (STUPID PIG ROAR!!!) he loves me to be emo.. crazy!!! pig roar!!! hahahaha xP stupid guy.. dun wan to teach me how to use nudge continuously in msn.. so selfish.. xP heehee.. kidding lah ho.. PIG ROAR!! hahahhaha XD seriously, i cant believe pigs can roar.. HAHHAHAHA.. only ben can :D hahahahha XD ok.. just being random here.. hahaha XD my headache is KILLING ME NOW!!!!!!!!! i go and sleep liao :D nitez~!!! :D

siao gina :')

2009-08-20T23:35:00.002+08:00

hahha.. this "siao gina" is very special to me.. it leads me to the past.. the past when we exchanged our hp number.. hahaha :D miss that moment... talking crap about the shops that we walk passed... spell and pronounce the shops name from the back to front.. i miss that day.. how we sat tght.. how we sabo each other.. how he drank up all my mango smoothie.. i only drank abit lor.. but he drank everything.. nvr left me some of it.. chey!! but he bought me one during our one year anni.. same place.. same time.. hahahha.. i always feel that we are meant to be tght.. but now is not the right time ba.. maybe now.. god wanna test our relationship.. how strong will it be.. if it's not strong, we wont be tght.. if it's strong, we will be tght happily ba.. probably.. who knows.. hahaha only god knows... hahaha.. just miss him alot.. the love he gave.. the concern he gave...

Ben and Jerry's Ice-cream :D

2009-08-20T23:16:00.003+08:00

hahahaha :D just now i was eating Ben and Jerry's ice-cream :D hahahhaa :D BEN!!! I ATE YOUR ICE CREAM!! THAT SHOWS HOW SINCERE I AM!!! :D HAHAHHAHAHA!!! LOL!!! :D thanks btw :) for being random... :D hahahhaha :D that helps though... yea :) i finally smile ler :D heehee XD

I have realised :)

2009-08-20T18:02:00.003+08:00

i have realised that he doesnt need me anymore.. :) and why must i keep on waiting for him?? hahaha :D he doesnt need my love anymore.. :) why must i show him my love to him?? why must i care and show him my concern... from now on, all these are bullshit.. no more from me :) no more you in my world anymore :) さようなら :) 私はあなたともう関連している何も有しない。余りに、私は正しいか。:) i confirm plus chop that you dont know what i am talking about :) but you should know one of them.. sa-yo-u-na-ra :)

feeling lonely again -.-

2009-08-20T01:53:00.002+08:00

im feeling lonely again :( especially during night time :( he's suppose to miss call me tonight.. but.. i think he doze off.. again... i finally know how he felt last time.. i was too tired and nvr called him during the time that we usually call each other and accompany each other till we sleep... haha.. i love that time man.. sweet :') today, i just really feel lonely.. today is the 1st day of the 7th month.. last year he used to accompany me.. cuz that time i was afraid.. hahaha.. now.. although i dun.. but i still miss that time... alot of things has changed... miss him alot.. hahaha.. sorry dewi.. i really need time.. im trying but still cant.. alot of his stuff and memories will suddenly come out from my head... i will try to be strong... it's been one month and eighteen days ler... im still like this... hahaha... this relationship really cant get off my mind.. he's always on my mind.. haha...

ohya.. where's hellokitty~pikachu??? nvr tag me liao ah :( so bad.. hahahha :D ps~!!!!! im feeling troubled.. feeling hurt.. can you help me? i dunoe who are you.. but what i think is that.. this is the only way i can talk to you ba.. hope you will read this :)

i had enough of getting hurt

2009-08-19T17:02:00.003+08:00

No more you in my world :) i have decided to forget you, forget the memories.. i had enough of you... you have been hurting me alot.. im tired of that hurt you gave me these recently... i rather go with someone i dont love than letting you hurt me.. i really had enough... you always assume that i dun give you a damn.. you assume that i dun put you as my 1st priority... i had enough.. im tired of repeating to you how i feel.. cuz you dont show me that you care and bother... you dont even miss me.. so why must i miss you, right?? im not going to be so stubborn anymore.. i wont go to your house anymore.. i wont hug you anymore.. whenever i hug you and walkaway, my heart hurts... a lot... i shall stop myself from loving you already :) i shall do watever i want.. i hope i can get into the mediacorp audition... i really hope...

another single life :D

2009-08-19T03:05:00.003+08:00

hahaha.. trying to study hard ler.. :D trying to do whatever things that i like... :D like going for singing audition, signing up to try for the audition in mediacorp.. (hope they give me a chance) hope i can be a part-timer actress.. just wanna fulfilled what i want when i was young :D now im single :) i can use lots of time to do what i want :) of course i miss the "love" i had before.. but it's over already :) i got the answer already... he doesnt know whether he miss me.. he doesnt know whether he loves me.. so i will just do my stuff when im being single... :) now i dun really need love from a guy.. but i need love from my friends :D (i got it already :D their concern means alot to me :) ) love them lots!!! :D psst.. seriously, i miss kissing and hugging.. hahahahha XD LOL!!! who dont.. -.- hahahhaha :D nvm... but im quite happy with my life right now :) studying and going towards to my dreams and doing what i always want :) aiya.. just want to crap over here :) LOL!!! :D hahahhaha :D now i need to study liao :D bye~ :D

feeling lonely

2009-08-17T00:41:00.002+08:00

i hate the feeling of being alone.. veri lonely these nowadays... luckily i have friends accompanied me these few days :') thanks guys :) you know who you are :D today i found out that pigs "roar".. hahahhahahahha XD cuz someone said that :D hahahhahaha :D if i dun have any friends, i will be bored like hell... now im waiting for my mac delivery... sian ah... hungry :( i really very tired of telling him how much he matters to me.. i know he needs time.. but i really dunoe lah.. he dun really show me that he still loves me.. im glad that he was willing to send me to work that time :) but... now.. i think he has started to forget me liao... he told me that ltr at night then call him.. until now le.. nvr miss call me... den nvm.. i called him.. nvr ans.. well done :) let me wait.. hahahha.. suan ler.. giving up soon... tired of one-sided love... really tired.. he kept on pushing me away.. told me that im free to find other guys... and i cant have intimidate actions with "him"... does he still love me.. or he just want me?? i dunoe.. i just need his love.. haii...

miss my classmates!!!

2009-08-13T18:17:00.003+08:00

hahahaha :D this was the day before ytd :D we went to cine after our dss class.. :D we watched "Up" clinz was sleeping.. XD hahahhaha :D johnathan was laughing like nobody business XD hahahhaa :D poor benjamin XD sitting beside johnathan XD benjamin" enjoying right??" XD hahahhaha :D i miss you guys XD heehee!! especially my wife, dewika :D

your reply

2009-08-11T18:16:00.003+08:00

i do care how you feel.. but i just dunoe how to show..i really dunow how to... eve after the break up, you always gave me a feeling that you dun care about me anymore.. you dun love me anymore.. so how you wanna let me care how you feel..i wanna to.. but i just dunoe how.. she is better than me.. i know.. i feel inconfidence when she appears and always with you by ur side.. i feel insecure and every stuff.. that's why i always asked for break up.. cuz i thought you will prefer her to me.. and in the end you said that.. "i prefer her to you" after hearing this.. i feel like i am drowning into a quick sand.. it's show that i am suck.. i'm worst to a person who is younger than me by 2 years.. i'm worst to a person who is your best friend and i was your girlfriend.. i'm such a failure... cant let any of my relationship to last long.. why i cant?? i thought i can let our relationship last long.. haii... im really tired.. of life.. tired of telling you how much i feel after breaking up... telling you how much i really we can get back tght... now.. it seems like we cant work out.. so.. suan ler.. and dun worry :D i will forget you :D very soon :) cuz this is wat you really hope to :) when i forget you and leave you aside.. you will be ENJOYING YOUR LIFE with her :) dun destroy her future woh~ *wink*

My wallet.. and a tiring day...

2009-08-11T17:49:00.003+08:00

haii... i almost lose my precious wallet.. hahha... inside my wallet is just ez-line card, tapz card, ngee ann poly attendence card. KFC membership card and most importantly NO CASH INSIDE!! HAHAHAHA!! seriously, i can just forget about looking for my wallet.. cuz there isnt anything impt to me.. and today my feet hurts alot.. cuz of my new HIGH heel shoe.. -.- 3inch... i think so.. no idea.. injuries all over my feet.. but i still want to look for it.. haha.. stupid right?? hmm.. no choice.. that is my precious wallet :') the first guy who i received a wallet as a gift :') i love it.. :') but he thought that i want smt more valuable.. seriously.. no.. i just want smt that he has the thought of it and smt that i can carry around with me everyday :') however, after many weeks i changed the wallet.. he was very disappointed.. i changed it to my new wallet.. the billabong.. white in colour.. i wanted to change the new one bcuz it can be organised and has a lot of pockets for my cards.. den now.. after the broke up, i changed back.. haha.. just wanna let him know that i still loves his wallet even though it's old and dirty... it dropped into a public dustbiun b4.. cuz i lost it b4.. den someone threw into the dustbin after taking out my money... luckily, there was a black rubish collecter saw it.. and sent it to my house's letterbox.. i was seriously very happy :'D and now i really dun mind to use it again.. yea.. hahaha..
then i msged him about what happened to the wallet just now.. his reply was just "Lolx. Lost then buy new one lor..." after i read this, i just dun wan to care anymore.. cuz he seems doesnt care what.. so i didnt reply him.. haii... nvm.. just let me suffer in the past ba.. however i will still move on.. waiting for someone is ready for relationship ba... idk.. maybe give up ba.. idk.. hahaha... sian.. he msged me again that" Lol. I hope you'll lose it. It's just a wallet anyway. stupid cheap wallet. forget me and the meaningless and stupid stuff i ever did" WHAT THE HELL!!! i really pissed of.. he really doesnt know how i feel.. he thought that i dun ever treat his gift as precious.. he just dunoe how much i see his gift to me.. it's just very happy and appreciated.. he just dunoe all these.. i dun show... but i'm disappointed that he thought i dun give his gift a damn.. if i dun, i wont try my best to search for the ring i dropped and the wallet i lost.. i'm seriously tired of life.. just hope a car will bang me.. and end my life there... dun wanna to suffer this kind of feeling anymore.. tired..

Love

2009-08-10T20:10:00.002+08:00

Love.. no matter what bad things happened in the relationship, the strong love can solve everything.. if you believe in love, nothing is impossible.. this is what i always believe in.. i dun think that the past memories, the sweet memories, the stuffs that the couple had gone through b4, can let one of them forget what is love about... i know i cant.. only you the one who can let me feel love.. till now.. no one can.. only you in my mind and my heart.. however, i dunoe about your side.. is she in your heart? i dunoe.. i just hope that we can start anew.. i dun care what's my family's impression of you now, but what i know is that the stronger the love we have, we can prove them that you are not the person they think you are right now..we had proved them wrong about some stuff, right? we had proved them our love b4.. they accepted.. but why cant we do it one more time.. i know it's hard but why cant we give it a try??? why are you giving up?? you are not this kind of person.. neither do i.. i will strive for the best.. so are you...
i know i am not good in words.. but i just hope that you will understand what i mean.. i will not forget our first anniversary.. the surprise you gave me at the lobby.. :') it's really stuck in my brain.. cant forget how you gave it to me.. and said " happy one year anniversary and i love you"

Feeling tired..

2009-08-10T19:30:00.003+08:00

feeling tired and sick... tired of life.. when i listen to my first song in my blog... i recalled my memories.. i'm listening to it right now..
Every night.. he's the person who accompany me through phone call.. however, it's past... i dunoe that is he still himself or not... i really dunoe which side i should listen.. positive or negative.. but what i know is that.. you hope i will leave.. and forget you... i will try to do that... however, after 10 years or wateva.. and we still meet each other.. i hope that you change for the better.. hope you manage your anger well... dont get into any fight anymore, alright? i dun wan you to get hurt.. it's stupid to get into fight when you are not feeling good.. dun forget.. you have your best friend beside you.. you told me b4 that she is enough for you.. you prefer her to me.. alright... if you really feel that way.. den i shall not interferr your life.. i will leave as what you always want.. you have my everything... everything... i just couldnt stop thinking about you... i miss your old you.. the sweet days... with you.. i love you..

having a bad day today.. i mean ytd and today ba.. idk.. haha

2009-08-10T03:09:00.003+08:00

i just dunoe... why cant we just try to be together again?? why you always love to hurt me alot?? saying those stuffs that you know that you will hurt me alot.. and want me to hate you.. do you know that all these that you did are useless... do you think i will forget you.. ha. ha. ha.. i dun mind to share this stuff with everyone.. and that is.. i have given you all my stuff.. everything really matters to me.. i gave it to you just becuz that i entrusted you my future and happiness.. i wont give it to any other guys... if i dun give it to you.. it means i just treat you as my boyfriend.. that's all.. you just cant understand this..
i have neverever love someone this DEEP!! NEVER!! but you just let me feel wat's love about.. and now you said you are giving up.. nice one *thumbs up and clap* i really dun understand why must you do this?? do you think it's fun to hurt me?? haha.. it's fun huh?? you should know that this 1year and 6mths is really matters to me.. the things we have gone through.. it feels like those are just passed afew days ago.. why must you leave?? you know we still care and love each other..
since you really want me to give up, forget about you, hate you.. just let it be ba.. i just hope that you wont regret wat you choose.. i really want to let you know how much you really really matters to me if we got up together one last time.. since you said dun wan.. i shall not disturb you anymore.. clear all contacts with you.. to try to forget you.. cuz you want me to do so... i have tried my best to get you bavk.. however, you just rejected every stuff i did..
dar, i really love you.. i wont ever feel numb for fade when we nvr see each other for long.. cuz a strong love will not fade so easily.. that time i was just took your love for granted..
i love you.

I HATE CUNNING PEOPLE!!!

2009-08-08T08:37:00.002+08:00

ahhh!! haii.. sian... why must some people be cunning?? is being cunning benefits us?? ya, it will. however, will you feel nice if you got the benefits with your cunning-ness and "dirty hands"?? i dun think so lah... and why must people being cunning during relationship too??? it's like you must use your sincerity to win someone's heart but not using ur cunning-ness to win it... i just feel that the person is damn bitchy lah... i just hope that someone will notice that the gal beside him is not an easy person... she is freaky cunning.. i hate it.. but nvm.. not my prob.. cuz it's their future.. and not mine.. :D

Just downloaded "youcam" XD

2009-08-08T01:59:00.002+08:00

i was crazy about this software.. :D then i just couldnt take it to explore every stuff XD this photo is freaking funny.. XD i look at the wrong side XD hahahhaha :D den another pic :D the right one :D hahahhaha XD just randomly take pics at my sis's office XD so UNGLAM XD HAHAHAHHA XD

DOTA FACE XD

2009-08-07T16:23:00.006+08:00

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! NICE ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "DOTA FACE"
"OH LOOK, I GOT FINGERSSSS!!!"
lol!!!!!!!!! having fun during my other classmates' presentation :D hahhahaha :D just wait here to see how people screw up their presentation!!! XD *THUMBS UP* but everyone made it XD TA26!!! we have done all our projects!!! erm.. psst.. only for our 1st semester... hahahhaha XD ohya.. dun miss me XD i know you guys will XD hahahhaha XD

EDMUND CHEN~!!!

2009-08-07T12:10:00.003+08:00

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the day before yesterday, i took a photo with someone~!!! GUESS WHO~!!! EDMUND CHAN~!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XD he went to my sis's office for some marketing stuff :D he's super friendly and he loves to joke a lot!!! he's a good entertainer :D *thumbs up* :D heehee :D HE IS MY IDOL~!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stupid ME~!! THAT'S ME~!! :D

2009-08-07T12:06:00.003+08:00

ahhhhhh~!!!!!!!!! i am super blur and stupid~!!!! i left my laptop battery at home.. my laptop power cable at my sis's office~!!! now i am using my friend's , jessica teo, laptop cable.. hahhahaha :D thanks to her lor~!!! ALOT MAN~!!! THANKS JESSICA~!!!! hmm.. sound quite weird though.. cuz i am jessica too :D hahaha... ok~ i know i am lame.. OF COURSE~!!! I AM JESSICE KEK~!!!! HAHAHHAHAHA :D

Today is my moody day woh~ :'(

2009-08-07T11:28:00.000+08:00

haii... today (Morning and afternoon) is not my goody day :( when i think about last year... when i celebrated national day in my secondary school... i feel very sad... i just cant stop myself from thinking about him today.. we used to go out together after our school celebrations.. missed that a lot today.. i msged him just now.. i asked him whether he's free to meet me as a friend this afternoon.. i dun think he will meet me.. but i hope.. he will..
luckily.. today charmaine is coming to my house.. or else i will really 'emo' lor.. my family is going to malaysia today... today, charmaine and i will have a crying period ba.. some stuff has happened to both of us.. sorry guys.. i just feel that most guys are irresponsible.. i'm really sorry to say that.. but why must guy treat gals so coldly or break up after having "fun".. i really hate this lah.. after having "fun".. den break up.. i really want to know why are guys like this.. i really dunoe what you guy are thinking... sorry guys :( i know not all guys are like this.. sorry :(

heehee.. first time having blog :X

2009-08-06T23:01:00.000+08:00

yoyo!! :D this is my first time to have a blog... last time, i was too lazy to have it.. but now.. just have it for fun lor.. ermm.. frankly speaking.. i dunoe how to design my blog.. so if you are the expert of it, please tell me :D i seriously need help for this stuff.. you know~ i am noob at this thingy.. hahaha :D yea~